Date nights continue to be all the rage. Consequently, 23 years into marriage, I would like to share my own two cents on the whole concept by examining the eight essential elements for an Adam and Eve date night.

Come again? Adam and Eve?

Yes, Adam and Eve. If we can discover the perfect Adam and Eve date night, we may just stumble upon what is invaluable about the trend for married couples to weekly spend a few hours alone, aiming to strengthen, deepen, and renew their most priceless relationship.

Before proceeding, let us observe how our first parents cannot accomplish enhancing their connection. They cannot call grandma to come over and watch the kids. Nor their neighbors. Nor their friends. Nor any other soul for that matter. The planet consists solely of two adults and their growing herd of little humans. Additionally, Adam and Eve have no opportunity to experience a fancy restaurant, theater, concert, sporting event, or couples massage. So, what in the world is the perfect date night for the once perfect couple?

First and foremost, an atmosphere of undeserved forgiveness must envelop the cursed lovebirds. Can you imagine having actually possessed a truly perfect marriage and it crumbling right before your eyes in a matter of minutes? How much would you really care to sit at a candlelit dinner across from the person who literally destroyed your perfect marriage? If this date night has any chance of being salvaged, total, complete, and thorough forgiveness is imperative.

Second, an atmosphere of grace for that spouse…and yourself…are essential. Not only will a date night for Adam and Eve require spending time with the one who ended your “happily ever after” but also while fully knowing that you took a bite too. You aren’t exactly a saint yourself. Not by a long shot. How much grace was required for Adam and Eve to even exist on the same planet let alone attempt a romantic date night?

Third, an atmosphere of continually focusing on the hopeful future not the painful past must exist. So, you both ate the forbidden fruit. No point in rehashing that moment over and over. What is done is done. Time to move on. Time to look forward, anticipating the hopeful future when God’s promise of that baby born of the woman’s seed will finally appear. Could Cain possibly be the one? Maybe now is the time. Then again…not so much, which leads to the next essential element.

Fourth, an atmosphere void of blaming and defending must be maintained. Why exactly was the firstborn a murderer? Was it his father’s tendency to never feel good enough? Was it his mother’s anger issues? Maybe date night will be more enjoyable if the couple accepts that they both made mistakes but that their child is his own person, making his own choices, and though they both faithfully brought him up in the instruction of the Lord and consistently disciplined him, he chose his own destructive path that broke their heart more than words could ever describe.

Fifth, an atmosphere of complete support for one another is vital. Don’t let the sin of your child, Cain, or the death of your child, Abel, destroy you. Be there for each other. Be sensitive to where you are in the grief, pain, and heartbreak of living in the once-very good, now-very bad earth. Turn towards one another. Don’t grieve solo. Hold one another. Be there for one another. Life is hard. But God gave the man a divine helper. God gave the woman a leader, a head. Turn towards one another, not away. You are on the same team, and you desperately need each other.

Sixth, the atmosphere of nature might do just the trick. When Job’s world was turned upside down, God directed Job’s attention to creation so that Job would be reminded that God is God and he was not. Adam and Eve had an entire free earth to explore. Pristine and more beautiful than we can imagine post-flood. Ideal weather every single day. No chance of rain to cancel plans. The perfect nature walk opportunities (minus the snakes, which were probably quite a trigger for them). Did they witness the first caterpillar turning into a butterfly, reminding them of God’s good promise to deliver them from the curse? Nature has so much to offer and is a comforting reminder all around us that God is God and we are going to be ok no matter what we are facing as a couple.

Seventh, an atmosphere of thoughtfulness must infuse the evening. Perhaps Adam preferred a relaxing evening stroll by a rippling brook after plowing all day among the thorns and thistles while Eve preferred finally sitting still and star-gazing after a hard day wrangling the kids. Would they think of the other or demand their own way?

Finally, an atmosphere of flirtation wouldn’t hurt. Though Adam and Eve experientially knew for a brief time what it was like to be naked and unashamed, they now had insecurities and distrust to battle. Would they keep tenderly caressing the hand that had foolishly grabbed the forbidden fruit that fateful day? Would they whisper terms of endearment throughout their sunset nature walk or while stargazing? Would they remain enraptured with one another, repeatedly experiencing the God-designed honor and pleasure still reserved exclusively for them despite their poor choice in the Garden of Eden?

The perfect date night is all about atmosphere. But not that of candles, expensive meals, or eye-catching outfits. Proverbs 15:17 describes the perfect date night like this, “Better is a dinner of herbs where love is than a fattened ox and hatred with it.” Matthew 22:36-40 clarifies that the greatest two commands of all are to love God and love others. I Corinthians 13 defines what exactly that love looks like. The eight essential elements of an Adam and Eve date night can be condensed down to one word. Love.