My amazement at how God has thoroughly prepared me for several deep valleys only continues to grow. None of us desire hard trials, but I hope this post will encourage you (and always remind me) that God prepares His children for what He calls them to endure (I Corinthians 10:13).

On February 16, my son was on a youth group ski trip when he went off the side of the mountain and suffered life-threatening injuries. He was immediately taken to a local hospital, which after evaluating him, put him on a helicopter and transported him to a better equipped hospital for the emergency. Bleeding on the brain in two spots was the most urgent and dangerous injury that needed to be addressed. My husband and I were over six hours away when all this took place. On that long ride to be with my son in the ICU, I felt an unexpected calmness in the unfamiliar arena of complete uncertainty. I felt totally prepared for this moment. I felt oddly unshakable. Let me try to explain.

For the past three years I have been obsessed with stories of parents who have lost children. Strange? Perhaps, but I have my reasons. In 2021, I attended three funerals of young men all around the age of 21. Two were unintentional drug overdoses and obviously sad but not completely out of the blue considering previous poor choices. However, the loss that shook me to the absolute core was the death of my husband’s business partner’s son. He was the oldest of six children. He had just had dinner with the family. Then his life was cut short in a motorcycle accident. Suddenly. Immediately. No goodbyes. Just gone.

My mind and heart could not fathom that level of parental grief. To my shame, I questioned God’s ability to comfort. Since that devastating death, my quest to understand what this particular family is enduring and needs from myself and others started me on a journey that has continued to the present. Though I had only met the wife of my husband’s business partner once before the funeral, I have since developed a friendship with her and observed her unspeakable grief up close. Additionally, I have listened to numerous “While We’re Waiting” podcast episodes. Each one is interviewing a Christian parent who has lost a child and is waiting to be reunited in Heaven. Books on child loss have also significantly captured my attention, including Surviving Sorrow, A Grace Disguised, Grief to Grateful, Hope is the First Dose, and most recently (a month before the skiing accident), Through the Eyes of a Lion.

On the long drive into the unknown future, one thought played on repeat. “God’s got this. We are going to be ok.” Not ok in the sense that I believed my son would live. Not ok in the sense that I was totally fine getting a phone call that my son might die (I was not fine. I had to deep breathe the entire ride from downtown Atlanta back to my home in the suburbs to meetup with my husband, so we could then drive to Virginia.) But ok in the sense that I believed without a doubt that God was going to help us through the loss of our son, if that was the outcome we would soon suffer.

How could I not be confident after having heard, read, and seen Him faithfully carry parent after parent after parent through the exact same loss that I was potentially facing? Especially that last book I had just finished. The author had included so many specific details of how God had shown up in their sudden loss of a five year old daughter it was incredible. Plus I had been an eyewitness to God carrying my husband’s business partner and his family. Also, within the last couple of years at my new church, my path has crossed with three families (including the lead pastor and his wife) that have lost children, each over a decade ago, and God has faithfully sustained each family. The lead pastor is the person that courageously called to break the news of our son’s accident. From the first second of this scary situation, we were being comforted by people who were personally well acquainted with child loss. I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that if we lost our son, it would be excruciating, but, by God’s grace, it would nevertheless be endurable.

The past few years as I have pondered the stories, I have often wondered how I would react in such a situation. While my son is expected to fully recover from all his injuries (miraculous), I did endure hours of not knowing if we would lose him. Calmness is never what I would have predicted as my reaction. No one who lives with me would describe me as “calm.” Yet calmness is exactly how I felt. Many people were praying for us, which I am sure is a significant reason why peace existed in such rough waters. But I believe God also thoroughly prepared me for this difficult moment by having me consume so many different stories of His faithfulness to countless grieving parents so that I would have full confidence that He would also be faithful to me. During the last three years, I could not imagine going through what these parents had gone through. Yet, when my turn came to face the very real possibility of losing a child, these same testimonies are exactly what strengthened me and calmed me. Also, God had clearly shown up big time in my own life days before the accident. There is much more I could share, but I hope you get the point. God thoroughly prepared me for the call no parent wants to receive. All I can do is reflect in awe, praise Him, and do my best to persuade you to completely trust in Him as well so that when your turn comes to face adversity, you too will be unshakable.

Psalm 62:1-2, “For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.”