Pregnant and scared?

Pregnant and scared? I’ve been there.

Being pregnant can at times be a very terrifying experience.  I’d like to share my story about my  third-born.  I hope it provides encouragement and strength and perhaps even direction.

I grew up in a Christian culture where “everyone” used birth control when they got married.  I don’t recall it being a consideration of should I or shouldn’t I.  I just automatically did.  Fast forward a few years.  Through a series of events over the course of a year my husband and I had a complete change of heart concerning birth control usage.  After our second child, we for the first time stepped out in faith and fully trusted God with opening and closing my womb in His timing.  We did this out of conviction not feeling…I already had a rambunctious three year old boy and a sweet one year old girl. A few months later, I was pregnant…AND SCARED.  When our third child was put in my arms, I had a 3 year old boy, an 18 month old girl, and a newborn boy.

My first year with three children was INSANE.  Wait, this was supposed to be an encouraging post.  My bad.  Let me try again.

My first year with three children was…still…INSANE…but it was also an amazing time to witness firsthand God’s sovereignty, power, and love.

When my third child was about 8 weeks old, my aunt suddenly and very unexpectedly passed away.  During those very challenging days as my mom mourned the loss of her sister, she found great comfort in holding her small grandson.  Though death had touched us, life was also very present.  There is something amazingly comforting about holding an infant.  God had perfectly planned the timing of my son’s life.

Not living near any family, I had been very concerned about having enough help once my third child arrived.  Just a few weeks before his arrival, I distinctly recall crying out to God for help.  Shortly after that my sister decided to move to be near me and help me full-time for the first several weeks after my son’s birth.  God is very capable of providing childcare when we ask.  When He has not provided the childcare I thought I needed, He has carried me through.

As my children got older, my second and third child (just 18 months apart in age) were excellent playmates which helped greatly as I began homeschooling the oldest.  It struck me again how perfectly timed the arrival of my third child had been.  Yes, the pregnancy had been hard.  Yes, the first year had been insane.  But, what a help to have him in our family!

Actually, there are many times when I just marvel at my third born.  He is our Mr. Smiles.  He loves to make us laugh.  He brings us such joy.  He is thoughtful. I look at him and think how normal in our culture it would be to NOT have him…being a third child…being only 18 months after the second child. Consequently, we named our third child Anthony because it means “priceless.”  Every time I looked at him, no matter how hard life would be with three little ones, I wanted to remind myself that he was priceless.

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We now have four children.

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God has closed my womb for years now. If He opened my womb again, I would definitely be scared. But you know how else I’d feel? Very excited to see what God was going to accomplish through this priceless life that He had chosen to exist at precisely this moment in time.

Are you pregnant and scared?  Look up.  He is more than able to carry you through this journey and shower you with blessings along the way. His plans always top the plans that we conceive (pun fully intended). 

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2 comments

  1. This reminds me of my story. Our first two were 2.5 years and 18 months when our third was born. I had been trusting God in the birth control department. It was hard, crazy and not at all what I expected God to hand us. But now I wouldn’t trade the children God gave me, nor the timings he gave them to me in, for the world. I now have five kiddos and they’re all such a blessing to us.

    Liked by 1 person

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