Whether we are in a small church where we might expect the pastor to be our best friend or a mega church where we are surprised if he even knows our name, we enter a religious place with expectations of the man up front. If we live under the illusion that pastors are more saintly than the rest of us, discovering the hard truth can tempt us to become disillusioned with the whole idea of church or the Christian faith altogether. Satan would love to craftily use our unfounded expectations to destroy us. How to guard against such an attack is the point of this post.

As every child needs a parent, every church needs a pastor, which is a noble task to desire. (I Timothy 3:1) Pastors are God’s gift to equip and help us grow into Christlikeness. (Ephesians 4:11-16) However, in a cursed world, neither caregivers nor leaders are perfect. Ever. Some know this all too well, struggling to trust any leader. On the other end of the spectrum, those yet to noticeably experience pastoral imperfections firsthand can tend to place the preacher on a pedestal, leading to overreliance on a mere human.

My desire is to help all of us stay grounded in reality and not unintentionally elevate the man upfront any higher than stage level nor dismiss him assuming he is a total hypocrite. We need pastors. But we also need the following five realistic expectations of them to protect ourselves from falling into Satan’s deadly trap.

First and foremost, expect pastors to be transient.

I Peter 1:24-25 says, “All flesh is like grass and all its glory like the flower of grass. The grass withers, and the flower falls, but the word of the Lord remains forever.” A leader has a limited time slot on earth and in our personal life. Whether through relocating, retiring, abandonment, adultery, greed, other sin, or simply death, pastors figuratively wither like grass and fall like flowers from our life. Our paths only cross for a season and only for a particular purpose. Be securely attached to God, not the withering grass.

Second, expect pastors to be in process.

It is imperative that our confidence be placed firmly in scripture alone and not the imperfect pastor, who is a spokesperson to help enlighten the endurable word, not supplant it. Sometimes they get it right. Sometimes they get it wrong. (James 3:1-2) Assuming they are not a complete imposter, they are in the slow sanctification process just as we are. None of us have arrived. Not even one of Jesus’s three closest friends, Peter, who impressively had 3,000 immediate converts after his first sermon, ever reached perfection before his final breath. (See Acts 2:14-41 and Galatians 2:11-14) It is our responsibility to daily be in the word, saturated in it, and able to successfully compare what is said to what is read (Acts 17:10–12; Galatians 1:6-9). If we swallow every pastoral utterance as pure and unadulterated truth, we have elevated man’s words to God’s word and will in time run into serious problems. Instead, we would be wise to expect the pastor to make public mistakes and still privately battle sin as we do. Paul, an apostle and author of many New Testament books, described this unwanted reality in Romans 7:15, “For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” So, bottom line, expect a pastor to be imperfect and disappoint you (and vice versa). This does not mean you cannot simultaneously appreciate so much about the man. This also does not mean be hyperalert to mistakes, errors, and sin, vigilantly pointing them out after every occurrence. The point is do not be surprised when they happen. Expect him to be in process. However, to clarify, there is a disqualifying line. See I Timothy 3:2-7; I Timothy 5:19-21; Matthew 18:15-17.

Third, expect pastors to be limited.

Unlike God who never slumbers, every pastor has physical needs that prevent him from being available every second. (Psalm 121:3) Unlike God who can hear every prayer at once, leaders will be quite limited in their capacity to consume emails, texts, and calls and thoroughly respond. (I Thessalonians 5:17) Unlike God who is omniscient, the men we follow do not have the ability to read our mind and heart and fully understand our situation, personality, history, struggles, triggers, weaknesses, and strengths. (Psalm 139:1-4) Unlike God who is all powerful, a person can only do so much at one time and so we will need to humbly accept being a lower priority at times, knowing we are only one of many souls the finite human is trying to shepherd. (Romans 1:20) Interestingly, even the Son of Man in His humanity did not attempt to be everything to everyone in the moment. (Luke 4:42-43) God in Heaven is our everything, not the man upfront.

Fourth, expect pastors to exercise authority.

What parent heeds every preference, viewpoint, and desire of their children? What school principal collects every teacher’s perspective before making the final call on issues? What CEO asks each subordinate their opinions before making any moves? What president holds a vote for every reform? Yet, we often seem confused in the church context, thinking our voice dictates what happens around the place or at least has a strong influence. Parents, principals, presidents, and pastors have authority. Not us. To clarify, I am not advocating authoritarianism in any of these roles nor complete silence on our part. A book I found helpful concerning this particularly challenging expectation and highly recommend is Authority: How Godly Rule Protects the Vulnerable, Strengthens Communities, and Promotes Human Flourishing by Jonathan Leeman.

Lastly, expect pastors to be accountable.

All public and private use of pastoral authority as well as every action, word, and thought of every church leader will be judged by God. This reality, which provides a measure of comfort to victims of pastoral mistreatment, is an encouragement that we can confidently place ourselves under leaders, knowing they are accountable to the Ultimate Authority. (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14; Matthew 12:33-37; Romans 14:12) Additionally, as a teacher, they are held to a stricter standard. (James 3:1-2) Furthermore, a pastor will give account for our souls. (Hebrews 13:17) If his heart is anything like the apostle Paul’s, the daily burden over the church that he is willingly carrying for you and me causes him anxiety. (II Corinthians 11:28). As a father bears great responsibility concerning his child, a pastor bears tremendous responsibility concerning the children of God. His noble task is accompanied by a heavy weight.

We would be wise to pause and examine if we are doubly honoring and highly esteeming those who are ruling well and working hard at preaching. The Giver of Pastors additionally instructs us to share all good things with these godly men. (I Timothy 5:17; I Thessalonians 5:12; Galatians 6:6). How well are we appreciating the hard working leaders among us? Check out seven ways to bless your pastor if you need ideas.

In conclusion, I recommend we view the pastor not as our daddy, savior, friend, anchor, perfect example, or hero but simply a fellow worker God is using to faithfully feed us spiritual food week after week. (John 21:17; fellow worker verses) Eat up, placing your full confidence in the enduring, perfect Word of God. (I Peter 1:24-25)