How do we heal from heartbreak? I will answer by explaining how we heal from a fractured femur, which my eldest experienced earlier this year.
First, you acknowledge the femur is broken, start using crutches, and go non-weight-bearing. You realize you cannot do what you formerly did. You face the reality that the simplest of tasks, carrying a glass of water from the kitchen to the living room, is no longer possible. You consciously accept the brokenness and all it entails.
Second, you get help. You don’t go it alone. You get X-rays to accurately see the problem and address it. You listen to what the doctor says and follow his orders. You return to follow-up appointments and get more X-rays and more instructions. You do not attempt healing solo.
Third, you wait. And you wait. And you wait. A femur may be broken in a mere second, but it will take over a million seconds to heal. There is no magic pill. No instant surgical relief. No other solution but waiting. And waiting. And waiting. But you are comforted and strengthened simply knowing healing will eventually come.
Lastly, you slowly return to normal functions. You tenderly put your foot down and attempt walking again on the injured leg. Wobbly at first but most definitely walking. Actually, the femur can only fully heal once it experiences use and pressure again. Seems counterintuitive. However, if anything hurts, you stop. You have to be sensitive to how much the femur can handle and not push beyond its current limit. The leg will not automatically return to its previous abilities. You have to have patience. You have to take it easy. You have to listen to your body. Not everyone will recover as quickly. Do not compare. Focus on your own progress. Faithfully go to physical therapy and do the at-home exercises in-between. You will need to consciously focus on having an even gait since you will tend to lean. Overtime you are encouraged at your progress, but, at other times, discouraged by how far you have yet to go.
Broken hearts are very much like broken femurs. Very painful. Very impactful to daily life. But very able to be healed. Accept reality. Get counsel. Wait. Love again.
One day broken hearts and broken femurs will be a thing of the past. Jesus is returning. Those who repent and believe in Jesus have eternal hope. For now, keep mending. Keep healing. Keep going. Never give up. Never, ever give up. Healing is possible. The road will not be easy. Stay the course.
One final thought that my husband reminded me of after reading this post is worth adding and sharing in conclusion. The orthopedist told our son that his femur bone would actually be stronger where the break had occurred once it was healed due to the additional bone growth. I wonder if the same goes for broken hearts. Perhaps they too will be stronger, possessing additional fortitude to love well, making both our lives and those we encounter richer, sweeter, better.
No one wants a broken heart anymore than they want a broken femur. But there is hope. Healing is possible. And we may even find we are stronger in the end.
“Praise the LORD!
For it is good to sing praises to our God;
For it is pleasant and praise is becoming.
He heals the brokenhearted
And binds up their wounds.”
Elizabeth Grace Neal 