You CAN Change

Recently, a blog post I had been perfecting for several days and was ready to publish received negative feedback when I showed it to my editor (i.e. my husband). After we kindly discussed his viewpoint for a few minutes, I permanently shelved my work, understanding his perspective. Since publishing gives me an opportunity to connect with and hopefully encourage you, I felt disappointment as I left the room even though I trusted we had made a wise decision.

Then, a realization suddenly hit me. Our exchange was a polar opposite from two years ago when he had not approved a blog post. Verbal attacks had been hurled between the two of us, each trying to prove our point and neither relenting in the least. After a few weeks of such destructive communication, the post was finally shelved, but I made it clear he had not won me over to his viewpoint. For several months our relationship continued to deteriorate until finally I reached out for help. What I learned through the long, painful transformation in our marriage is highlighted in my post published on May 19, 2020. Now in this moment of another shelved blog post, I was clearly witnessing the reality that we had actually changed. What encouragement!

Do you feel like you’ll never change? That’s what Satan would love for us to believe. However, it’s a lie. Change is completely possible. We do not need to be stuck in our destructive sinful patterns. The transformation will most likely be painful, humbling, and take time, but it is definitely possible. Actually, we’re commanded to change: Romans 12:2 says “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.” You can also check out Ephesians 4:17-32.

Writing and publishing a post like this makes me a little nervous since Ryan and I have not yet reached perfection, nor will we ever as a married couple. Every day in the little moments of life, we must incessantly choose to love one another. Complacency is out of the question. Slipping back into old ways is a constant threat. However, having recently observed such concrete evidence of change, I risk sharing so that you too can take heart that becoming more like Christ is truly attainable. Perhaps that is the message that you really needed to hear and not the two shelved ones. You CAN change!


  1. With every opportunity given, we can CHOOSE to respond differently. God will bring those opportunities over and over until we DO CHANGE. May we have wisdom to see past our irritations what God is trying to teach us in each circumstance. It is really meant for good, our good.

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  2. I love this! It’s so hard to see change in ourselves sometimes. Sometimes I wonder if I look any different from the rebellious girl I was 16 years ago. But it is these little moments that make us realize that, yes, God really is working in us.

    I also really like that you get your husband to read your posts. I wrote a letter to our Premier today and I’m thinking I probably should’ve gotten someone to read it before I send it. I was pretty angry! A second pair of eyes is so wise. I hope it doesn’t come back to haunt me…

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    • Thank you for your comment! Based on your own blog posts, you seem anything but rebellious. I am encouraged by your love for God and people that shines through your posts.

      I feel for you on that letter you wrote! I totally understand!!! I haven’t always gotten my husband to read certain emails beforehand that would have been really good if I had…I’ve been a slow learner in that area for sure. I guess those of us that enjoy blogging have a hard time knowing when to stop with our written words sometimes…

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      • Ha ha! Yes I’m glad to hear I’m not alone on that… An unfortunate lesson to learn for sure!

        Thank you for your kind words. My heart longs to follow God wholeheartedly! But so often my words get me into trouble (and the Bible says that through the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks, so I guess these things are also there too.)

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  3. I am certain this post is what we needed. Thank you. Seeing how you submit to your husband’s leadership in what you publish is a testimony as well. It’s not something I’ve seen modeled, so it seems strange to me. It makes sense, but it’s unfamiliar territory for me, a woman raised by women who did everything by and for themselves. Thank you.

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    • When I started the blog, someone I trusted recommended I have my husband read it before publishing. I saw wisdom in that counsel but also have found it hard but good. It’s been a journey for both of us. Thank you for your comment!

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  4. I hope in addition to blogging you are also journaling. This blog entry is one for the journal, was it reveals growth in a positive way, blessing from God. We are constantly being changed into His glorious image. He promises that. So good for you to reflect upon in years to come.

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